Skating For Love pt. 5

 Skating For Love pt. 5

Sam P.O.V.

"What brought this on Sam?" Emily asked me. "Well, Chole said she's ready to go to the next level with me." I told her. "Hmm, that could mean becoming intimate with each other." Emily said. "I don't know if I wanna do that, I mean I'm attracted to Chole but not in that way." I said. "Well for me, I unfortunately found out through self-inflicted trauma and other trauma. I also was trying to be what society was like in terms of what they think intimacy is." She said. But there's so many different ways to be intimate with someone, without having to be naked. For me, Kieran and I would just sit and cuddle and talk for hours." She continued. "We loved doing that, also going to the park, the pool, taking walks, listening to music." She went on. I thought about what she was saying, and I liked all of that. "Being ace is different for everyone, some asexual people like sex, and some don't. For me, sex isn't important in a relationship. I don't need it. Kieran was totally okay with that, he also knew about my trauma. Which made him see things through my perspective." She said. "Well, I think I might be ace too." I said. "You know, I didn't always know I was ace." Emily said. "I thought I was demisexual at first, and trying to fit in to this hypersexual world we live in not that there's anything wrong with being demisexual, I just found out that I'm not." She said. "But when I discovered I was ace, I realized I didn't need to fit in with what society is like, I can be ace. Because that's what I am, I have no desire in being intimate with someone in the traditional sense." I was taking in everything she was saying. "I think I'm the same way, the thought of doing stuff, makes me squirm, and I just don't want to do that." I told her. "That's totally okay Sam, you don't have to." She said to me. "But what if Chole, doesn't like that I can't do what she wants?" I asked, because I was worried about that. "If she doesn't accept you for who you are, then she's not the one buddy." She told me. "Okay, thanks sis. Goodnight." I said to her. "Goodnight Sam." She said, before hanging up. I came back to my room, and saw Chole reading something on her phone. "Hey I'm back." I said, sitting next to her. "Hey babe, did your talk go well?" She asked. "It did, Emily really helped me figure something out about myself." I said. Chole cocked her head to the side, she looked puzzled. "You said, you want to take thing to the next level. I've been giving you space, because I didn't want to pressure you into anything." I said, wringing my hands. "But there's something you should know." I said firmly. Chole took my hands in hers, and gave them a reassuring squeeze. "Okay, here it goes. Chole I'm asexual." I actually said it! That felt really good. She stared at me for a bit, before she asked. "What?" That one word, felt kind of heartbreaking. "I'm asexual, which means I have no desire in having sex with anyone." I said. "I promise it's not you, it's me. And I can't give you what you want, in forms of sex. But there's other ways we can be intimate with each other!" I said, trying to ease her mind. "I'm sorry, I just don't think I can be with someone like that." She said, letting go of my hands. "I understand, I know it's not for everyone. But I know we can work this out!" I said, trying to get her to listen. "I have to go." She said, gathering her things. I heard the door slam shut, and I knew she was gone. I cried so hard that night, my eyes burned from how hard I cried. The next morning, I called my sister. "Morning Sam." Emily said with a yawn. "Hey sis." I said, still heartbroken. "Sam, what's wrong?" She asked, more awake now. "Chole left last night, after I told her I'm ace." I said, crying again. "Oh Sam, I'm so sorry. Do you want to come over for breakfast, and you can tell me about it?" She offered. "I would like that." I said. 

Emily P.O.V.

I have Sam over this morning, his girlfriend ran out on him last night simply by being himself. It's just not right, Sam has been the best boyfriend to her from what I've seen. To leave someone like this, is so crazy to me. "I really thought she loved me." Sam cried, as I held him. "I know, kiddo. I know you loved her, but maybe she just needed some time to process." I said. "She said, she couldn't be with someone like me." He said, so brokenly. "I know it hurts Sam, but maybe she'll come around." I told him. "Maybe." He said, lifting his head up. "What would you like for breakfast?" I asked him. "Do you have waffels?" He asked. "I sure do, the blueberry kind." I said with a wink. They were always his favourite when he was little. "Thanks sis." He said, with a slight smile. "Anytime bro." I said, returning the smile. 

Chole P.O.V.

I know I probably shouldn't have left like I did, but I needed some time to think about my relationship with Sam. I wanted to be intimate with him, he was so hot, and I really wanted to be that close to him. But maybe that's not the way it is for everyone, I needed some help. But I didn't know anyone who was asexual or on the ace-spectrum. I decided to call Jax, maybe she knew more about this. "Heyyy girlll!" Jax said when she answered. "Hey Jax, do you have time to talk?" I asked her. "I sure do, what's up?" She asked me. "Sam told me something last night, that has me kind of perplexed. I was hoping you could help me out with it." I said. "Okay, what did he say?" She asked. "Well he told me that he's asexual." I said. "Oh wow, okay. I do know what that's like, I have a cousin who's on the ace-spectrum." Jax said. "Really? I didn't know." I said, surprised. "Yeah, my older cousin Tyson. Sex isn't that important to him, but him and his husband have a beautiful relationship anyway." She said. "But how can they, if they're not intimate?" I asked. "To them, being in a relationship is so much more than that. They have fun doing other things together, they go on trips, hikes, picnics, they share deep feelings with each other. Honestly it's the most intimate thing I've seen." She said. I thought about it, and maybe Jax had a point. Perhaps Sam and I could be happy with a sexless relationship. But I still wasn't sure. "You make a good point Jax, but I still don't know if I can be with Sam." I said. "It can be hard to navigate, it might help to talk to someone who's on the ace-spectrum." Jax suggested. "Yeah but I don't know anyone who is, except for Sam." I said. "I think Emily might be, I saw her with her mom at the grocery store. At least I think it was her." Jax said. "Really? could you describe her?" I asked. "She had blue hair, black glasses, was dressed like us. You know a scene girl, she had headphones on, and was stimming." Jax said. "That sounds like her, Emily is autistic so that explains the headphones and the stimming. But what about her, made you think she was ace?" I asked. "She had an asexual pin on her bag." Jax said. I never noticed that before, whenever I would visit. "Thanks Jax, I'll head over to her place now." I said to her. "No problem bestie, let me know how it goes." She said, before hanging up. "Oh, um hi Chole." Emily said, when she opened the door. "Hey Emily, could we talk?" I asked her. "Um, I don't know." She said. "Why?" I asked. "Sam is here, and I don't think he wants to see you." She said. "Oh, well I just need to talk to you." I said. Emily let me in, and I went over to the couch. "Sam could you please go hang out in the guest room?" Emily asked him. Sam nodded, looking down when he saw me. After Sam left the room, I turned to Emily. "I'm sure Sam has told you what what happened last night, and I know I shouldn't have run out like that." I started. "But I wasn't sure how to take what he told me, I mean I'm attracted to Sam in a sexual way. But he's not, and it's not just me, it's anyone." I said. Emily nodded. "So I thought I would talk to you about this, since you're ace yourself." I confessed. "I'm happy you did, do you have any questions for me?" She asked. "Do you ever want to have sex?" I asked. "No, never. It's not something I'm interested in." She said. "Can some ace people have sex?" I asked. "Yes, there's some asexual people who have sex, but under certain circumstances." Emily replied. "But from what Sam told me, I don't think he wants to do it at all." She said. "So you and Kieran, you never?" I asked. "Nope, and he was okay with it. He loved me for me, and I think he loved our cuddle time more than I did." She said with a laugh. "I know this can be hard, and I know not everyone is okay with sexless relationships. But if you really love someone, and you know that you want to be with that person, you can find a way to make it work." Emily said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I really did love Sam, and I wanted to be with him. But I was still unsure. "I think maybe for right now, Sam and I need to take a break. I need to understand this more." I told her. "I understand, I think that's a very valid thing to do." She said to me. Sam and I had a long talk, and we both agreed that spending some time apart was the best thing for us right now. It hurts, but I know we'll learn and grow a lot from being apart. I spent the night at Jax's house, and we had a girls night. That really took my mind off everything. 

Sam P.O.V.

Well Chole and I are split up, at least for now. And it hurts a lot, because I really do love her. But we both agreed that it was what we both need, and I think this will make us understand each other more. I decided to have a sleep over at Emily's, we did a bunch of fun stuff, and it was a great distraction. I miss Chole a lot, she was so much fun to hang out with. At least Chris comes back from his dad's soon, I can hang out with him. "Chris you're back!" I said, when he came over. "Hey dude, yeah I'm here!" He said with a wink. "How was your dad's?" I asked him, as we headed to the park. "It was so fun! he took me to the arcade and I won this." He said showing me a huge jaw breaker candy. "That's sick dude!" I said. "What about you, how have you been?" He asked me. "Well, me and Chole broke up." I said dejectedly. "Oh man, I'm so sorry." He said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "It was kind of a mutual thing, but it still hurts." I said. "Tell me what happened." Chris said, when we got to the park. I told Chris about the night I came out to Chole, he was very understanding. "I may not fully understand it man, but if that's who you are, then that's who you are. You're still my best friend." Chris said, fist bumping me. "Thanks dude, that means a lot to me." I said, breathing a sigh of relief. "I still miss her though, she was always so fun to talk to, and listen to music with." I said. "I know man, but hopefully she'll figure things out, and want to be with you." Chris said. "I would love that, but there's a chance she won't. Then we'll both have to move on." I said, looking down. "Hey don't think about that right now, let's just shred." Chris said, showing off his moves. What the boys didn't know, was that Chole was watching from the shadows...

Stay tune for part 6