Lost

 Lost

A short story

Lost, that was a word I knew all too well. Everywhere I went I was always told to "get lost" or "we don't want you here" So then where am I supposed to go? What exactly did they mean by "get lost" Was I supposed to find a well and jump in, or wander aimlessly through the forest until I was mauled by a group of bears? All I knew was I didn't belong in people's own twisted version of society, and it was clear they wanted me to disappear. Maybe being lost would be a good thing, if it meant I didn't have to endure people yelling at me to leave. That's exactly what I ended up doing, I packed up the few belongings I had. Then set out for the world, not knowing where I would go or what I would do. Before I left I wrote a letter to those who actually cared about me, explaining how I couldn't go on where I was. I said how I didn't know when I would be back, but I would be fine and I hoped they would be too. I also told them not to look for me, I didn't want to be found. 

My journey started out slow, I walked for a few miles before hopping on a train. Then I got off somewhere in California I think, wandering the streets getting strange looks from people. Great another place where I'm unwanted, what is so wrong with me that people physically don't want me around? It's not like I'm rude to people or have a giant mole on my face, or something. I just didn't understand it, eventually I came to another train station. I rode that train for I don't know how long, until I heard the conductor say "last stop for the day" I got off, and looked around my new surroundings. I somehow ended up in England, it was a nice change from California. I walked to this park, and fell asleep on a bench exhausted from my trip. The next morning, I woke up surrounded by people yelling at me. "here we go again" I thought as I sat up. "get lost creep!" "yeah go back where you came from!" There were those words again "get lost" I was already lost, and it still wasn't enough. Maybe I'm just not meant to be in this world at all. I ran into the woods crying, I fell to my knees sobbing under an oak tree. "I can't do this anymore" I said into the world. I climbed the tree, and jumped off. I landed pretty hard, I was in a lot of pain. I couldn't breathe, I felt my body shut down and that was it, I was gone. 

Yes I was telling this story from beyond the grave, I hope other young people like me don't make the same mistake I did. It wasn't the answer, I realized that I shouldn't have cared what other people thought about me. Did I ever find out why I was being yelled at? When my soul left my body, I looked down at my mangled form as a small crowd stood over it. They were all saying stupid things, but one thing someone said was "good riddance, she was weird anyway.” “I mean why was she so quiet, and had headphones on all the time? Weird.” That's when it hit me, they were yelling at me because they didn’t understand me. The world hates what it doesn’t understand, and that’s what drove me to end it all. I only wished those hateful people would have taken the time to educate themselves, then maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to end my life. 

So this story is fictional, I wanted to write something deep. It’s a little bit based on my struggle in high school, But not everything is true, I didn’t want to die, I just didn’t want to be in a place where I didn’t fit in. It traumatized me in a way, because I was alone so much and I thought something was wrong with me. I realize now there’s nothing wrong with me, and i’m happy with who I am. I hope you like the story :)