Alone

 Alone

(I just really need to write something right now)

They were all gone, everyone I ever knew. I woke up and they weren't there, I don't know where they went. I looked at the kitchen table, it's oak wood finish beckoning me towards it. There was a note, it said We've left you because you're a problem, you're annoying, and weird, all you do is bother people. I felt the tears fall instantly, how could they do this to me? Then I started thinking, maybe they're right, maybe I deserve to be alone. I ran back upstairs to my room to pack a few things, then I too left. I had a little money to get a cab to the airport, and just enough left for a plane ticket. I didn't know for where, I just didn't want to be there anymore. On the plane ride, I looked at all the happy people with their families, friends, and significant others. I cried again, I felt horrible because the one person I thought would never leave me left me. He was amazing, love of my life, but even they left. That hurt me the most because it took me so long to trust him, and then they broke that trust. I swore from that moment on I wouldn't trust anyone ever again. The plane eventually landed, and I grabbed my bag. I walked down the street into the small town I stumbled into, it wasn't very interesting but it was better than nothing. That letter was still going through my mind, I always blame myself for things I didn't do. But maybe this time I had messed up, maybe I don't deserve anyone in my life. I still don't know where I am, but I have a house now, so I must be doing something right. I found a dog at the local shelter and adopted him, so at least I have some company. I'm still so freaking lonely, I miss my person more than anything. If I close my eyes I can still picture us wrapped up in a hug on the couch, my parents would always tell us "get a room!" I smile at the memory, then go back to crying. I cried hard, I thought I was going to flood my little house with my tears. "why do people always leave me?" I said to no one in particular, I was so alone it was suffocating. "what's wrong with me?" I never found anyone after that, I don't think I ever will.

I know it's a sad story, but I've just felt like this lately :( I don't have any friends where I live so it gets lonely, my people are online but they have lives too so I'm often by myself. Have a good week I guess :(

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