struck by more than just lightning

 Struck by more than just lightning

Chapter 5

Adrien

I can't believe Carson is my boyfriend! This feels like a dream, he is so sweet to me and I just couldn't be happier. Right now Carson and I are hanging out in my room, listening to me play him all the love songs I've wanted to sing to him. He's wearing his glasses today, and looks so sexy with them on him. "Have I told you how gorgeous you are?" I tell him, staring straight into his ocean eyes. Carson looks at the floor, and blushes. He's so cute when he blushes. "thanks babe." he tells me and pulls me close to his chest. My new favourite place is inside his hug. I feel so warm and comfortable inside that hug, his strong arms just holding me. I feel so content. My mom now knows that Carson and I are dating and she is so happy for us, all three of us had breakfast this morning talking about it. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. "hey do you want to maybe go to the movies this Friday?" he asks me. "sure that sounds fun!" I tell him, smiling so big. "great!" I go back to playing my guitar, and watching Carson enjoy it. "oh I almost forgot, I have something for you. It's supposed to be your graduation gift, but I wanted to give it to you now." Carson says and pulls out a small box. 

I take the box, and slowly start to unwrap it. When I open it my heart stops, and tears come to my eyes. "Carson are these for real?" I ask not really believing my eyes. "yes, they are I hope you like them." He says. I couldn't believe he actually got me tickets to see be more chill on broadway! "you are the best boyfriend ever! I love you so much, this is such a great gift!" I say then give him the biggest kiss, we have ever shared. "I'm so glad you like them, I figured it would be another amazing memory we make this summer." he tells me. I love him so much, and I go put the tickets somewhere safe. A little while later, Carson and I are back at the meadow and we're just enjoying each other's company. When out of nowhere, Nick and Scott come into the clearing. "what are they doing here?" Carson says, a little angrily. "Carson they have as much right to be here as we do." I say, not wanting to start anything. 

"oh geez what are you doing here?" Scott says with an eye roll, crossing his arms. "we're just having a nice day in the meadow, what about you guys?" I ask, trying to maintain some order. "uh we were also just going to have a nice day in the meadow. Right Scott?" Nick says with sweat rolling down his forehead. "okay, it's obvious we're all here because we're dating." Carson says getting straight to the point. "yes Nick and I are dating." Scott says and shows us their hands clasped together. "well so are Adrien and I." Carson says, and kisses me cheek. I blush, but I'm so happy he said it out loud. I'm also happy for Nick and Scott, they seem perfect for each other. But I also know what this town is like, when it comes to gay people. "hey guys, I just want to say I am so happy for you. And if you ever need to talk to someone I'm here for you, we both are. Right Carson?" I ask hoping he will be resonable. I know Carson has had his issues with these two before, but I hope he sees past that. "yes we are here for you guys, and we won't tell anyone about you if you promise not to share our meadow with anyone else." Carson says. "okay deal, thanks for being so cool with this." Nick says, relaxing. "of course, everyone should be free to love who they want. Plus I think you guys are perfect for each other." I say, and hug both of them. "thanks Adrien, you're really cool. Maybe we could hang out sometime?" Scott asks me. "sure that would be fun!" I say. Then go back over to my boyfriend. "I'm proud of you." I tell him, and kiss his forehead. "thank you, I'm a better person when I'm with you." He says, and I smile so big my face hurts. 

Well we're back at my place now, getting ready to go over to Carson's grandmas. I'm not really sure what to expect, it's different everytime we go over there. "Hey Carson? Is this okay to wear this to your grandmas?" I ask showing him my outfit. He looks at me smiles, then frowns again. "you look great babe." He says a little sadly. It's always bitter sweet when we visit her, sometimes she has good days, and sometimes she has bad days. It's the bad days that are the hardest for Carson. "I'm sure she'll be fine today Carson." I say then give him a kiss on his cheek. "thank you, babe. Come on we should get going." We get into his car, and drive off to the Clover assisted living facility. "hey Grandma, I brought Adrien again." Carson says as we enter her room. "who are you?" she says, and Carson looks so hurt. I take his hand and squeeze it. "it's okay baby." I whisper. he smiles again, and walks closer to his Grandmas bed. "It's me Carson, your grandson. And this is Adrien my best friend/Girlfriend." "It's nice to see you again, Mrs. Carter." I say to her. "would you like some cookies?" She asks us. "sure that would be wonderful." Carson says. 

While we're there, Carson and I chat with his Grandma and try not to feel too dejected at her forgetting things. She's actually a really great person, and gives great advice. Evening rolls around, and it's time to head home. We say goodbye, and head back to my place. Once we're there, Carson and I walk inside and head up to my room. Carson flops on the bed, and silently cries into a pillow. I climb in next to him, wrap my arms aound him, and just hold him while he cries. I hate seeing him so upset, Carson only shows his vulnerable side around me, so I make sure he is comforted in the best way I know how. "hey how about I play you a song? I know your favourite." I say rubbing his back. "okay, that would be nice thanks babe." he says then kisses me. I break out my guitar, and start the song.

I know the feeling of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge

and there ain't no healing for cutting yourself with the jagged edge

I'm telling you that It's never that bad, take it from someone who's been where you're at

laid out on the floor and you're not sure you can take this anymore

so just give it one more try a lullaby, and turn this up on the radio

If you can hear me now, I'm reaching out to let you know that you're not alone

and you can't tell I'm scared as hell cause I can't get you on the telephone

so just close your eyes, cause baby here comes a lullaby your very own lullaby

Carson's face is just pure bliss whenever I play this song, we both love Nickelback and actually saw them in concert a few years ago. That was so much fun. "thank you for making me feel better babe, I love you." Carson says and kisses me. "I love you too, and no problem." We just lay on my bed for a little while, holding hands and talking. When something comes to my mind that I really want to ask him. "Carson, can I feel your chest?" I ask a little shyly. "sure." he says. I lift up his shirt, and run my fingers down his toned body. "geez Carson you are so gorgeous." I say loving the feel of his soft skin on on my fingers. "no I'm not but I love that you think so." he says, and looks up at me. Clearly he loves me feeling his chest, as well because his eyes are closed and he has the biggest smile on his face. I want to pull his shirt all the way off, but when I go to this he stops me. "No! I'm not there yet okay?" Carson says. with panic in his eyes. I stop immediately and look at him suspiciously. "Carson is there something you won't show me? You know there's nothing I don't love about you. I love everything about you, there is nothing too embarrassing or too shocking that would make me stop loving you." I tell him, looking straight into his eyes to convey how much he means to me. "I know I feel the same way about you, but please respect that I just can't share this with you." He says. "okay I will respect your wishes, but I want you to know that when you are ready to share this with me, I'll be here to support you." He pulls me into a hug, and kisses me on the cheek. "I have to get home, but I'll come by first thing tomorrow okay?" he says. I don't want him to leave, I sleep better when he's here holding me. But I know he has to make sure his mom is still alive. "I know about your sleeping, but it's okay I'll talk to you before you fall asleep. That way my voice will be the only thing you hear." I love him so much, what did I do to deserve him? "thanks baby, I love you." "I love you too beautiful. See you tomorrow." We kiss passionatley on the lips, then he's gone. I watch him drive off, wishing he could stay. 

After Carson talks me through falling asleep, and we hang up, I can't help but wonder why he won't take his shirt off. Carson has always been so open with me, we tell each other everything. But for some reason, Carson doesn't want me to see him with his shirt off. I hope I figure it out before we go to the beach this summer, I wanna see him shirtless in those swim shorts. With the sun beaming down on his gorgeous abb muscles, his hair blowing in the breeze. This is my last thought before I go to sleep, and hopefully whatever it is that Carson is keeping from me reveals itself soon.